It’s difficult to get to know each other 140 characters at a time. It’s even harder to delve into deeply rooted emotional struggle, or elation, and the unpredictable swaying scale balancing the two. I’ve been meaning to blog for quite a while but was uncertain of my diligence to maintain one. For the time being, I have a lot to say; to elaborate beyond the message of my music, and to do my best to inspire a community of kindred spirits. It’s always been about the music, which has always been about so much more.
I’ll work backwards.
I think a lot. Probably too much. Like, who else spends a good part of their day wondering what the purpose of existence is, or how to make peace with the complete absurdity of life’s curveballs, which blindside you just as you’re winding up for a grand slam? And ultimately, who else is at unrest at the thought of not having a concrete clue as to what happens when it’s all over?
I think it all hit me after a couple of tragic and unexpected losses. I’ve been grieving since, and continued on to further experience several more blows to the face after the initial knock-out punch. The struggle to climb back up was a mix of staggering through apathy, stumbling, persistence, and stubborn resilience. (Cue “Starry Eyes”)
I reached a point though, where I was fed up with existing so painfully. Over the course of about eighteen years I’d developed coping mechanisms for living and functioning with depression, however in the last several years, the floor I’d built had just dropped out from beneath me.
I’m telling this story because it’s important for me to say where I’ve come from, but most importantly to share my journey of recovery.
I was inspired to prioritize my happiness by the unconditional love and support I have received from my loved ones, and the friends I’ve met through my music. If someone else cares so much about your well being, shouldn’t you? (Thunder) . I also became inspired by the immense gratification I found in additionally being there for others. To feel purpose.
These are my personal experiences. As I’ve grown up, I’ve realized the reality that, as I say often, “everyone’s got their own shit.” But even so, I feel that we’re all in this together, despite how different our own obstacles may be. Maybe making an effort to keep this in mind could help us be more compassionate towards each other, and live better, happier, richer lives.
I encourage you to share here, or privately, any story you would like, and how you find happiness in your lives.
Thanks for reading my first blog entry.
-N
(Is that cool? I always wonder how much of a badass status you have to reach in order to get to sign off with one initial…)