Leap of Faith

I’ve spent a long time trying to keep the kid inside of me alive. I’ve always looked back, even at much younger ages, and thought about time spent and years lost. I’ve been afraid of change, so I’ve lived my life the same way for a long time - in the same place for a long time. Sometimes it seems scary to take that leap of faith that you’ve been aching to take. Often I have to remind myself that the few times I’ve taken great leaps of faith, I’ve always managed to land on my feet in one way or another. It has required a certain level of growth, but I’ve come to realize that there’s actually a great deal of excitement in the prospect of pivoting towards a previously unimagined outcome.

 

 Change can be difficult, and especially difficult to accept if you’re still living in the place where you grew up, and every road you drive down is memory lane. I look at trees and I see myself beneath them with childhood friends, eating lunch. I look at baseball fields and I see my father pitching balls to my brother. Maybe my fear of the future has stemmed from my fear of making the wrong decisions now, and not ending up heading down the path that I was supposed to. But I do now know that every decision I’ve made has helped me to learn, every failure has helped me to grow, and every success has given me a reason to keep taking chances.

 

 By the way, I’m actually dictating this verbally to my iPhone, on a bench next to an empty baseball field. For some reason we are having a 75° day here in New York, and it’s on these kinds of warm days that I feel like I am a part of that easy breeze blowing through the trees, and I’m at peace enough to reflect positively.

 

 Change can be a good thing. There, I’ve finally said it. I have some exciting new things on the horizon, in both my professional life and my personal life. I’m resolving to resist stagnating and holding onto a time or place that will never be the same again. I think I’m in a place where I can accept that the child inside of me that I’ve been trying to save, and the years that I figured have slipped away forever, have instead aged gracefully, and are sitting here in exactly the place where I am. I’m excited to finally feel brave enough to take any leap of faith necessary to guide me to happiness, no matter how much life may change along the way, and knowing that it will always be a moving target. For now, I’m just going to sit here a little while longer and enjoy this beautiful day.

Comments

Elaine B February 22, 2018 @07:01 am
Change sometimes come as a conscious and thoughtful decision. Sometimes it comes via unbeckoned means. Addressing change is our challenge. Moving forward eagerly or reluctantly? That's where the story lies.
Kim Keeton February 22, 2018 @03:11 am
It’s nice to see some positivity like this. I’ve been struggling to focus or even do anything this week because of changes I know that are ahead, so I know how hard it is to accept them but this may have just helped me with that. All the best.
Blanca February 21, 2018 @08:12 pm
The worst that could ever happen to us is to forget that child that is amazed with tiny droplets getting down a window or bees buzzing over smelling roses meanwhile an army of ants march on carrying little pieces of leaves, or laying down on our backs we watched clouds transformedinto dragons or whales or other fantastic shapes or playing the guitar a your cats playand eat and purr around you. Don´t stop being a child having faith. Grown ups forget the most important things,but you don´t.Being so makes your singing special and your heart broad.
Jennifer February 21, 2018 @07:39 pm
Beautiful and inspirational Nicholas. I can relate to some of what you have shared. Sometimes change can be both difficult and rewarding. Never know until you take those steps. Although now always easy but necessary for growth and betterment. I always wish you the best in everything and pray for you daily. You can always count on me for anything. Hope to see you in Kansas some day soon. Muchvlove and support to you.
Bob Hunt February 21, 2018 @06:48 pm
Beautiful words are always truthful words. And vice versa.To always be alive to, and in, this Eternal Present Moment is what Life is all about. That's one thing I'm pretty sure of. We can never have misgivings, regrets, a sense of "something lost" when were deeply attuned to this Present Moment. That's what I'm reading here in your post. And all of us can relate to everything you've written. It's like the road not taken / least traveled, I guess.And whatever road we choose will be the "right" one... if we live life Now.
Rich C. February 21, 2018 @06:41 pm
Always got your back support your decisions and greatful for the friendships.in tbis message i am alot like u.The kid still.lives in me and safe in what's familiar is the go to safe zone.but change is good and scary .no mattter what happens in thst change the most important people in your life will always be there for you.So leap and your people will catch u keep u safe and u will grow.in amazing ways.Alway a King Nicholas.
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